BLOGGER TEMPLATES Funny Pictures

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Early Halloween 2018 promo art

From Bloody-Disgusting...

Let the hype begin!

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Mutant AKA Forbidden World

MUTANT –



An unrepentant and  shameless Alien rip-off; raw, ugly, sleazy, cheap, all these words have been used to describe Forbidden World, AKA MUTANT to the VHS faithful.  To the gorehound elite this movie is a creature feature staple; a smothering landslide of cheese and gore and strange electronica.  Every cinema sicko worth his or her weight in slime has waded through the cesspool of Forbidden World and comes out the other end loving every dirty minute of it.

The premise is simple, Mike Cody, intergalactic troubleshooter, is hired to destroy “Subject 20” a mutated beast originally conceived to battle the galactic food crisis, now it turns people into food.  Oh the irony.  The scientist who created it wants it subdued and not terminated, but his position loses ground when he leaves the strange beast in the care of poor Jimmy, who does what anyone would do when asked to keep watch over a strange and potentially dangerous experimental mutant; he sticks his face right next to it.  Subject 20 attacks Jimmy’s dumb head, blood flies everywhere covering security cameras and painting the ceiling red as Jimmy hysterically spazzes out, smashing through beakers and lab equipment with reckless abandon.  It doesn’t make any sense but it’s fun to watch.  Soon the hunt for the mutant is on.



It’s discovered that the mutant “meta-morph” doesn’t actually kill its victims outright, but slowly dissolves their DNA into a primitive protein paste for consumption, lending some groovy flesh cocoon practical FX to the proceeding.  What Mutant lacks in plot and logic it more than makes up in boobs and gore FX.  Mike Cody takes a break from chasing the creature to bone a scientist in a rather gratuitous soft core sex scene scored by what sounds like a space flute; later the two female scientists decide to have a half-naked shower together to discuss trying to communicate with the monster.  I always come up with my best plans while washing a women’s hair in the shower, helps me think, especially if I can see their boobs.  Spoiler; their attempt to woo to the creature does not end well for them.




In the gory goo slathered pinnacle of the movie Cody defeats the mutant by ripping a cancerous liver out of one of the scientists and force feeding it to the monster.  The impromptu surgery is performed with a box cutter and without anesthesia; ouch.  The camera work is a little dicey during the final battle with the mutant, seems like Cody is just bumping into the giant rubber monster with his bare chest; a true man fights strange alien creatures from space without his shirt on.  Out of all of the shameless Alien rip offs I’ve napped though this one takes the top of the heap for me.  


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Leslie Vernon comic coming 2017


Support the comic HERE.


Halloween 2018 news

Per Bloody-Disgusting:

Halloween news 2018 BD



It’s not a reboot, it’s not gonna be a rehash. It’s a continuation of Michael Myers – where we’re choosing to continue it from, you’ll have to see when the movie comes out,” McBride explained. “I’d already seen all these movies but I’ve really been studying them now, and just thinking about all the people that have been hired to make a Michael Myers movie. Just trying to avoid any mistakes that those people might’ve made. The first Halloween is scary as shit. And the second Halloween is scary, but not as scary. And then from there, it isn’t as scary. And I really think that what happens with it is that he basically becomes Frankenstein. No matter what anyone hits him with, he’s not gonna die. There’s no suspense.
McBride added, “We’re just trying to play with that. Make him real. Not make him real by giving him some crazy backstory either. Just getting back to the basics. Even the moment that they made Laurie and Michael Myers siblings – it also makes it not quite as scary. So all that kind of stuff to us… those are the things that took an amazing idea and took it somewhere it wasn’t quite as effective.”
Sounds good to me...


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Creature (1985)

Creature –

“I see you like guns…what else do you like?”



I found Creature in a bin full of VHS movies at the local flea market.  I paid 5 dollars for front row tickets to a Klaus Kinski freak out fest in space. I regret nothing.    



Creature is a shameless rip off of Alien, but that doesn’t hamper Klaus Kinski’s crazy fervor on screen, which was the best thing about this movie, other than the space zombies, exploding heads, and a brief boob shot.  In the near future all  galactic resources are fought over by two major companies, one from the east, one from the west; carrying  cold war rivalry  from Earth into space beyond.  Never mind this nonsense; none of it makes a difference when a group of German researchers discover an ancient alien menagerie on Titan and one of the  creatures wakes up and begins implanting people with mind controlling parasites, creating space zombies to do its bidding.  A rescue team is sent when they receive a distress signal from the Titan outpost, discovering the only survivor of the attack is crazy Klaus Kinski who rambles on about the creature’s “collective conscious”.   The rescue team tangos with the grisly undead zombies being spawned by the creature, and when all seems lost a well-placed drop kick saves the day.  Decent blood and practical zombie gore effects, torn throats, gore; worth spending a lazy Sunday afternoon with if you’re into shameless Alien rip-offs from the 80’s.  I am.   

   

Monday, May 15, 2017

Star Crystal - 1986

Star Crystal –




When I was a kid I rented this movie based on the box art alone and watched it in the dusky morning hours before school started; when the rest of the family laid asleep I subjected my fragile young mind to horrors from beyond, unimaginable snot covered nightmare beings that sucked the blood right out of you with thorny tentacles dripping with slime leaving you a spongy, mummified, ooze covered corpse.  Star Crystal terrified my school boy psyche with images of a glowing snot monster squeezing limbs with tentacles until they burst with blood.   A scavenger mission to Mars yields a strange discovery, a large 300,000 year old crystal formation that behaves more like a computer than a rock.  Shortly after recovering the object the scavenger crew’s shuttle suffers an oxygen malfunction and all aboard are killed through asphyxiation, leaving only frozen corpses drifting through space.  2 months later the rudderless shuttle craft is intercepted by a floating space station but soon after docking with it, the station suffers a critical “blackout 7” malfunction, and explodes killing thousands.  Only a handful of technicians survive by escaping on the same craft that holds the mysterious Star Crystal.  Within the first ten minutes of the movie the body count already racks up considerably, then the creature gore begins.  The crew discovers there is another life form on board, one that corners its victims smothering them with horn covered tentacles, sucking their life juices from them until they prune up into a desiccated corpse.  The creature kills several members of the crew in short order, prompting some pretty funny freak out moments from the survivors “Damn it, DAMN IT!”  They also realize the creature is intelligent as it uses its crystal to hack into the computers systems.  In a goofy unforeseeable twist they learn that the creature’s viscous attacks were all part of some sort of misunderstanding, stupid humans.  What follows is an 80’s montage of the snot creature (which calls himself Gar) working with the surviving 2 crew members on the ship, playing games, goofing around, calling people jerks.  Gar the snot creature from space that feasts on human blood ends up being a real sweetie and the movie ends with hugs and high fives.


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

New Halloween posters

Check out these sweet new Halloween posters done by the original artist of the Nightmare on Elm Street movie poster.



The Terror Within/Dead Space double header

Deep space; the promise of endless exploration and discovery, and unimaginable horror; these movies were meant to push the boundaries of imagination and fear, they often push the boundaries of good taste and patience instead, but the faithful shall be rewarded.  True believers in the cult of the VHS and champions of sci-fi trash will find these movies delightfully obtuse B-rated bundles of joy dripping with slime and gore; staples in the gorehound elite’s diet.  Fans of face ripping, throat slashing, acid spewing, gut tearing, monster melting, head stomping, bone crunching alien horror should look no further than these forgotten sci-fi gems of yesteryear.



The Terror Within –

“You’re an ugly son of a bitch!”

George Mother Fucking Kennedy leads a group of survivors in a search for a cure to a plague that has ravaged the planet, leaving legions of flesh hungry mutant gargoyles in its wake.   The movie begins promising enough, two men wander the desert, one man with a beautiful mullet, great plumage, and already I like the on screen mullet to man ratio.  The group is low on supplies, they eat rattlesnake (tastes just like chicken) and drink moon shine but soon the party is crashed by horny gargoyles on a mission to rape.  The mutants surround the Mojave Desert underground lab complex George and crew are holed up in; let the rape party begin.  Soon one of the female survivors is pregnant with mutant spawn; George attempts a C-section surgery to study the freak but the little fucker tears out of her chest instead, blood and visceral splatter everywhere, the operating theater is soaked in gore, and the hunt for the creature begins.  Pretty much the pinnacle of this trash fest, because the rest of the movie is spent awkwardly bumping around air vents in the dark.  There’s a dog named Butch, and Butch was the only survivor I cared about making it out alive.  It’s discovered that the creatures have super sensitive hearing, which is kind of a surprise because they don’t look like they even have ears, but whatever, they must not like metal, fuck them.  In the end duct tape saves the day.  Duct tape.



Dead Space –




Technically a remake of Mutant, just you know without any of the over the top cheese and sleaze that makes Mutant so damn endearing.   Maybe they should have called it Dead Air instead.  The most interesting part of this movie is that it stars Bryan Cranston in a role that heavily foreshadows his later work on Breaking Bad; he plays a scientist searching for a cure to a lethal disease that plagues him.  



Knowing his time is short he takes radical risks and disregards all safety protocols to create his cure for the deadly Delta V disease, and to the surprise of absolutely no one something goes horribly wrong.  The lab calls upon Captain Kregger Intergalactic Troubleshooter for help (the dude that plays Beastmaster), who seems to spend a lot of time chilling in his space sauna.  However when Kregger reaches planet side Cranson doesn’t want him to kill the mutant because “it’s not a monster” or something, but ultimately loses the argument when it starts impregnating people with giant slugs that crawl in through the nose and burst out from the chest.  It can also kill with a scratch infecting victims with “every disease known to man”.  So it spreads herpes?  Gross.  In the end it mutates in a cross between a dragon and a xenomorph, Kregger kills it, and then happily returns to his steam bath in space to relax.   


Thursday, May 4, 2017

New Mondo Posters

Check out these new Mondo Slasher posters displayed at the Frightmare Fest in Texas.