Friday, December 28, 2012

Interview with TCM 3D director

Check out the link below for an interview with the new TCM 3D director.  It actually got me a little more excited to see it.  I like the bit where he referenced Leatherface's leg wound from the original.  There has been a lot of negative buzz about this one from the typical lot of internet "smartest man in the room" fanboy whiners chumps, but I'm not letting that stop my hype for a fraction of a second.  I cannot wait for next Friday to roll around, hopefully I can get a small group of ghouls to join me for some 3D chainsaw roaring action.

I love that poster :).

Monday, December 24, 2012

The Burning on blu ray - Scream Factory!

Some news on The Burning blu ray, looks like Scream Factory is set to produce it.  Hopefully it will be of the same quality as their other fine releases with some nice bonus material and art.  No distribution date, but I'm excited none the less.

Leslie Vernon toy - Behind the Mask

I loved Behind the Mask, and wish the best to their "jumpstart" campaign for the sequel.  It boggles my mind to think how much other crap gets out there yet a sequel to a cult hit like Behind the Mask can't find financial support.

Check out the new Leslie Vernon toy, just in time for Christmas:

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Cropsy Christmas Cookie

Hey ghouls, hope all you sewer sucking urchins are having a splendid holiday season.  I got a Cropsy Christmas cookie the other day from a great fan which tickled me silly, and like a good kindergardener I thought I'd share before devouring it post haste. 

  Upcoming movie reviews should include the rare 80's Christmas slasher gem Blood Beat!  I just got the VHS rip in the mail and cannot wait to unwrap it for Chrismas time!  
If anybody was following my Facebook page I didn't suddenly decide to "unfriend" or block you, just thought I would take it off line for a bit until I have more material for the fanzine.  That's right, next year another fantabulous fanzine will hit the rack at your local curios shop.  This year was kind of hectic with the crypt move and other things so it took a brief hiatus, but by the next fall season expect another issue of the slasher fanzine that refuses to die, where the bodycount will never end, tentavely titled CROPSY'S CRYPT: CROPSY LIVES!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Collection - first impression review

The Collection
The Collection is a mad dash of gore, brutality, and grotesquery; a mish mash of Saw-esque traps and stalk and slash mayhem through a hotel funhouse of horror. It’s a movie that panders to the sensibilities of gorehounds and flesh freaks while playing ode to the slasher sequels of yesteryear. Like the slasher sequels that dominated the VHS shelves during the 80’s there is a sense of one up-ism with The Collection, where everything seems badder and radder than its predecessor. The bodycount is bigger, the traps are bolder, and the “Collector” is as fiendish as ever, so shut down that bothersome cerebral cortex for a while, plop a cold beer in your hand, and get ready for some finger licking fun with The Collection.
The movie kicks off with some quick news footage detailing how the Collector is terrorizing the city, kidnapping unsuspecting citizens without any pattern or limits to his monstrous fetish, causing city wide panic and an irrational fear of traveling luggage. The Collector is apparently on his “A” game, so he decides to stage a night club attack with a barrage of exotic traps including running a hay bailer over a crowd of people and crushing a cage full of sappy party people with an industrial press. This first blood bath really sets the stage for the kind of crazy carnage to come. It’s silly and over -the-top but it’s just what the ghouls who are watching this movie are looking for. The Collection isn’t trying to make a point out of anything but entertaining the viewer with a sick, brutal ass horror film and it makes its intentions known at nearly every turn. From decapitated dogs, to grotesquely sown together bodies this movie really tries playing every card it has to get the gag reflex. Heck it even has zombies in it.

The anti-hero from the original, Arkin, is back and this one really solidifies his anti-hero, tough as nails final guy status. I really enjoyed the way they built up the rivalry between him and the “Collector” and the exponentially growing animosity they share for each other all the way to the end. It isn’t long before Arkin is back on the scene licking his wounds from the first movie in a hospital bed before he has mercenaries holding guns to his head, forcing him to lead the mutts to the Collector’s hideout in search of a missing rich person’s daughter. The Collection really isn’t concerned with table setting as it is with getting to the gore, bless its black heart. Arkin leads them to the out skirts of town explaining how he ingeniously tracked the Collector’s movements after getting captured by marking his arm for distance and the turns. The hotel is aptly named “Hotel Argento”, a name horror affectiandos will recognize immediately, and like the famous director’s giallo films the hotel is lit with a combination of atmospheric green, red, and black lights, giving it a funhouse kind of feel where some morbid mechanization lurks around every corner.

Most of the film takes place inside the abandoned hotel “where even rats avoid shitting”, with the cast evading one trap after another while trying to locate their missing party girl. Traps rank from terrifying to preposterous to out right impossible, but that doesn’t really hurt the proceedings as much as it is a reminder to relax, tap a sip, and not over think the blood bath stoopid. The kills come quickly; the film leaves little room for breather from one set piece to the next, and the fate of many of the “collected” are revealed. It appears that the Collector fancies himself as a bit of an artist, creating macabre displays of distorted flesh by sewing dead body parts back together and displaying them from behind a pristine glass case, and it’s apparent he’s been running this operation for a while. He must use a lot of Windex because those aquariums full of body parts are crystal clear, and dare I say kind of beautiful in a twisted way. While they do reveal a little more about the Collector during this round the film makers are careful to maintain an aura of mystery about him, which is great. Deconstructing slasher villains is so faux pas.

The performances are wide ranging and kind of what you’d expect from a high polished b-movie. Motivations are sometimes a bit sticky, and the characters caught in the Collector’s maze make some moronic moves, but again that’s par for the course. If these mercenaries were really that smart they wouldn’t have been so eager to run into the Collector’s hotel of horror with little to no plan other than “kick ass, find the girl”. This crew was born to be meat for the proverbial grinder. There was one plot hole I noted, where Atkin’s wife transforms from the frigid soul sucking hag from the first movie to a caring, loving spouse. They never mention the loan sharks coming after her which seemed to be the main plot driver of the original, and Atkin’s daughter is completely absent, but that really has little impact on the plot in this one.

I’ve heard that if this one does well in the theater there is a strong possibility for a third installment, which I would absolutely love to see. The ending could wrap things up nicely if they stop here, but they left themselves enough wiggle room to make a few more sequels as well. I would have to say that this is one of the best slashers I have ever seen in the theater, demonstrating a tenacity to entertain and cater to my gorehound tastes with a pinch of original ideas and concepts that seem to work well with this franchise builder, all good stuff. So I implore for everybody to check this one out, especially if you liked the original. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed, and hopefully someday I will be sitting here reviewing “The Collected” in the near future.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Silent Night, Deadly Night review

After watching Silent Night, Deadly Night last Friday for the fiftieth time I’ve come once again to the conclusion that it is a film that exists in a bizarre parallel dimension somewhat like our own, but with enough minute differences to know that it just isn’t Kansas anymore Toto. People sing Christmas tunes that I’ve never heard before, or repeat weird Christmas rituals I’ve never heard of or seen. It’s the kind of place where functional bows and arrows are sold in toy stores and people feel perfectly comfortable leaving their kids alone with catatonic psychopaths. In light of these facts I can’t help but give the movie a little leeway; after all, tis the season and all that muck.
At the core of the story is the tragic tale of Billy, who witnesses his mother and father brutally murdered by a man dressed as Santa on Christmas Eve, or maybe it was the real Santa, the movie really isn’t clear about that and in this dimension, who knows. His crazy ass grandpa actually predicts the event giving Billy adequate enough proof that Santa is really an evil bastard that punishes naughty people on Christmas. To the surprise of nobody but a few bitter nuns Billy develops a pathological fear of Santa Claus. On top of being orphaned by Saint Nick poor Billy suffers from mental and psychological abuse at the orphanage he is assigned to by the state under the harsh rule of Mother Superior. This will not end well for Billy.

Speaking of Mother Superior, what a bull faced cunt of a woman. I reserve the “c” word for special cases because I know how upset it makes people, but if anyone deserved the label Mother Superior “pain in the ass” is it. The way she deals with children is the way my old drill instructor dealt with new trainees, except maybe he was a little less abrasive. Mother Superior is the villain of the movie, and for all her self righteous bullshit and callous treatment of the orphans she never gets her just reward. That really breaks my heart every time I watch this movie. Spoiler alert folks, Billy does not get his revenge.

Billy gets a job at the local toy store where he ends up working for an alcoholic boss and jerky supervisor, but everything is as copasetic as it can be until the Christmas season. And because pretty much everybody is an asshole to some degree in this world Billy soon gets roped in to being the store Santa Claus. I didn’t think this was so strange or mean to Billy until the manager actually reveals that he knew about the nature of his parent’s deaths. So you knew that his parents were slayed by a man dressed as Santa but you still make him dress as Santa for your crummy store? These people are just asking for it, and by “it” I mean a hammer to the forehead, or maybe just getting strangled to death with Christmas lights, or disemboweled with a utility knife, or even shot through the chest with an arrow.

After heaps of tragedy is reigned down on Billy’s head like visions of sugar plumbs, he totally snaps and starts killing everybody for being “naughty”, although his rules for naughtiness are rather loose and free wheeling. He kills one guy for looking for his girlfriend. He impales some broad on antlers for answering her door without a top on, not to mention a cop and pretty much anyone that crosses his path that isn’t a child. Even one snowman totally minding his own snowman business gets hastily decapitated. Billy really goes berserk.

In the end Billy doesn’t quite get the revenge he was looking for, but what a ride. Silent Night, Deadly Night might have some serious anti-religious message buried under all the deep fried cheese but I highly doubt it. If anything it was just table setting the tragedy of a boy who hated Christmas, or really I think Christmas hated him. Recently I discovered that there is a kind of anti-Santa Claus type figure recognized by many religions and Christmas traditions around the world, a Santa Claus that punishes naughty children, but I think that whatever name they gave that deity should be swapped for Billy Chapman. He’s really what I think of when I think of Christmas punishment….it is good…it is necessary….so maybe Billy was really on to something the rest of Western civilization was missing out on. Billy really was on the cutting edge of Christmas tradition, haha, get it, cutting edge, he’s a slasher, hehehe, hahaha, and ho,ho,ho? Anyways Silent Night, Deadly Night should be a staple in your holiday movie diet, more so than that lame ass Charlie Brown, he’s naaaauughtyyyy…..