Thursday, March 15, 2012

Wrong Turn 4

Wrong Turn 4 is a slap dash of Saw-inspired depravity, torture porn-esque raunch, and toilet level humor.  Even with expectations set to zero the movie grates against my medulla oblongata.  It earns crypt-o points for slashing in the snow, but loses said points for the blasphemy of rendering snow with CGI.  Set with a cast of one dimensional jocks and jockettes with matching Beiber Ken-doll haircuts and personalities, it’s hard to sympathize with any of the meat.  This is the type of party that all scream “YEAH” and throw their fists in the air when they simultaneously hop on to snow mobiles.  May death release these morons soon…I mean these goofs complain about the cold while simultaneously stripping down naked.  But no fear, it isn’t soon before they snuggle into a nice warm abandoned insane asylum with the infamous inbreds of Wrong Turn; now with a new and improved totally 100% unnecessary back story that really adds zero to the proceedings of any of the movies in the series.  The inbred hill-tards kind of look like they got their getup from the local Spirits Halloween store, so don’t expect the same threat level as the original.  Think more Goosebumps meets Hostel and you kind of got the feel for this freak-shake.  The kill scenes are long and torturous, and I get the sense that they meant for some of it to be slapstick, but it just comes off as mean spirited when we are forced to spend ten minutes watching someone get tortured as a “human fondue”.  They pile on lesbians and bouts of brevity to try to soften the mean nature of the movie but it just falls short and ends up making for a very strange package.  I can’t tell if they want me to laugh or clutch my barf bag.  I can say it kept me watching from beginning to end, and the ending was pretty marvelous…rewind worthy and out of nowhere….so I won’t spoil it for you here.  It will make for a decent Friday night time waster with a few brews but skip the repeat watch, it’s a good renter for the depraved….