Monday, September 12, 2011

Count Dracula and his Vampire Bride

Over the weekend I felt the itch; the itch for voluptuous lesbo vampire broads, old dilapidated mansions that go creek in the night, Dracula spouting the dark poetry of the damned, and hellish experimentation performed by some mad German other words I felt the itch that could only be scratched by HAMMER.  So I laid back in my easy chair and dosed my brain with some dusty classic vampire yarns, such as Count Dracula and his Vampire Bride.

Dracula is sick of the game.  Yes sick.  And the damned creature wants out of it.  He's sick of monster hunters separating his coffin lid in the throes of a good midday nap, he's tired of feeding the vampire chicks chained to his coffin, he's sick of humanity mucking it up for him.  It's time for the dark days; the all or nothing days.  It's time for the apocalypse, the big end game, and with the help of some hypnotized higher up British officials and a brand new strand of the bubonic plague, aka the Black Death, he seems closer to ever to bringing the world to the end, if it weren't for that meddling Van Helsing standing in his way...

Peter Cushing and Christoher Lee mix it up in this classic HAMMER sinema great, and with this being Christopher Lee's last Dracula flick, it makes me wonder if the whole deal about Dracula being tired of living had some other implications, like Mr. Lee was tired of playing the living dead, even though it's a FACT that nobody on Earth can bulge their bloodshot eyes out of their skull in hyno-Dracula trance like he can.   There's some political intrigue, actually it wasn't as intriguing as a chore to sit through until the movie got to the classic HAMMER stuff, but I'd recommend it if you're looking for a good vamp flick that doesn't make vampires look like cry baby emo goth kids.