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Friday, May 31, 2019

Happy Death Day To You 1 & 2



Well it's nice seeing some newer movies try to keep the stalk and slash tradition alive, unfortunately this new wave of slasher-lite, limp-wristed MTV candy covered bullshit is not worth the clear plastic dust cover of an old slasher great, like Happy Birthday to Me.  These movies are CGI laden teen dramas disguised as traditional stalk and slash flicks, nu-wave post modern self referential Scream influenced snore fests for anyone over the tweening age.  The idea of mixing Groundhog Day with a slasher is a promising one, where a miserable cunt of a person is stuck in a time loop centering around a single day until they redeem themselves.  The execution is shallow and lacking; watch jerk get killed (yay), rinse, wash repeat until she figures out who the killer is after a series of red herrings and obnoxious plot twists from out of left field.  This should open the tableau of creative kills and fun gore, but for the most part the slasher elements are down played, forgettable and lame.  The sequel is just a mess of time paradoxes and dimensional shifts centering around even more unredeemable self centered clean skinned over moisturized teeny bops I couldn't give a shit less about, it wraps up without even trying to make sense of it all and the stalk and slash aspects are all but nullified.  Please stop this hipster bullshit nonsense and bring back the bloodshed!     


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