Plenty of fanzines left....

There are still plenty of copies of the first Cropsy's Crypt left lying around in the crypt. Any interested graveyard plundering ghouls out there would do well to drop me a letter at cplchud@yahoo.com. The first has plenty of EERIE/CREEPY/SKYWALD inspired writing, reviews, sketches of monsters, slashers, and all things that go bump in the night....right thorough your cranium! Here's a listing of what has been dissected so far, although the same titles may be sliced up more than once in upcoming issues:

Prom Night
Funeral Home
Tourist Trap
Just Before Dawn
Mother's Day
Friday the 13th part5
Cold Prey 1 and 2
Nightmare on Elm Street
Freddy's Nightmares
The Prowler
The Demon
Inside
Stepfather
Twitch of the Death Nerve
Silent Night Deadly Night 4
Silent Night Deadly Night 3
The Toolbox Murderers original and remake
Graduation Day
Stage Fright
The Hitcher
Don't Torture a Duckling
The Funhouse
Halloween
Spare Parts
Deep Red
Slaughter High
Happy Birthday to Me
Momma Dracula
April Fools Day
Night Train to Terror
Savage Weekend
Rituals
Eegah

THE BODYCOUNT WILL CONTINUE!!!!

My BLOODY Valentine Day!

In celebration of the film My Bloody Valentine and the holiday the crypt keeper took a long overdue trip to treacherous Howe Caverns in upstate NY. There was no Harry Warden to be found in the winding subterranean passages of the cavern but there were plenty of dark passages for the madman miner to hide and plan his next attack! There was even a glowing, heart shaped rock in the cave, back lit by neon red, an eerie, tenuous connection to the film, but very cool none the less.

More slasher-themed holidays and ghostly hang outs are on the crispy crypt keeper's agenda in the future....so hide your women, lock up the cattle, board away the children, and shuck the sheep...the crypt keeper could be making his rotten way to a town near you soon!

Meanwhile at the GARTH MANOR....

HELL NIGHT

Gothic style horror seen through a pair of pink 80’s shades; Hell Night blends classic spook house freaks with the modern horror show creeps. Hell Night launches with one of the most kinetic parties to ever grace the silver screen. Hundreds of people fill the screen, energy off the charts, chugging beer, crashing cars, spraying shaving cream, and getting down to disco like nobodies business. I think I even spotted a goldfish doing keg stands. This rip roaring block party is all in celebration of “Hell Night”, a night where the college co-ed pledges stick it through a night at Garth Manor battling a bad case of the willies. Little beknownst to the frat pledges the old, creaky mansion is still inhabited by a big mongoloid “Gork” looking to turn these party monkeys into chunks. Pray for day indeed! Keeping it simple and dripping with atmosphere, Hell Night is a sure-fire repeat watch for slash heads looking for another classic fix. Linda Blaire is there (uncharacteristically bearing nothing), but holding it down on the acting front along with a Californian surfer type guy, an English party girl, and the typical preppy slasher movie good guy (who takes a deep dive after revealing he once saw a real elf, kind of like Dan Haggerty, except his career took the dive). The mansion has all sorts of hidden passageways and secret chambers, giving ole Gork-o plenty of places to jump out at his prey and the film makes plenty of room for dime store scares. Hell Night might not peg anyone’s top horror movie list, but it’s got enough cheesy charm to keep me coming back. Did you know that, dressed as Robin Hood, it is plausible to steal a shotgun from the police station, unnoticed? Stick that one in your pipe and smoke it!

Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall

Shopping malls in America used to be chaotic, dangerous, and downright deadly. Liken the dust strewn streets of the Wild West, or some lawless post apocalyptic land where life is a white line nightmare where the weak are battered and smashed; family shopping malls were a deadly gambit of beauty pageants, skateboarding kids, and wailing Casio key-tar beats. That is, of course, until we hired robot protectors to help us safely navigate the aisles unharmed by toxic scab heads or Splatter Punks, to pick out our favorite colored socks (green like The Shape). These treaded, laser spewing, torso crunching death machines will finally introduce order to the shopping experience. I can finally peruse the antique wooden limb aisle in peace…or if it’s up to the robots…pieces…

It’s Beverly Hills. People chew gum with intensity unknown to the rest of the free world. In the food court there are Forbidden World and Slumber Party Massacre posters decorating the walls; which, in case you didn’t know because of your abysmal lameness, is totally tubular. What can I say you saps, it’s Beverly Hills, and they obviously have taste. Life is pizza, parties, fridges bristling with crisp sudsy silver bullets, and bodacious babes. It’s all pancakes until the Chopping Mall droids show up blowing people’s heads off with lasers. It’s a major bummer, but fuck it, it’s Friday! Break out the sweater vest and send those buckets of bolts a Rambo-gram they’ll never forget!

Chopping Mall is the ridiculous over the top brain wave crushing experience that you hope it to be. It’s that perfect storm of 80’s spunk and sloppy gore. It adheres to the movie rules that all robots are bullet proof, despite the material they’re made out of, and all the typical slasher ground rules. Some people might call it garbage, but use gutter suckling guppies know better; this is the meatloaf dinner of soap kitchens. Any movie where they point out how working in a pizza joint can prepare you for battling robots gets this crypt’s appraisal…may I please see your identification?

Tales from the Crypt "And all through the house..."

As a young spawnling Tales from the Crypt was a regular staple in my boob tube intake. This episode marks the TFTC Christmas special, a real dozy of a yule time tale. Enjoy this slash-tastic snippet! Seasons screaming to all!

HYSTERIA LIVES! :The Burning Retrospective!

Check out the link for a retrospective worthy of the crispy one....

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/the_burning/

CROPSY is out there....watching.....waiting......

They never found his body, but they say his spirit lives in the forest. This forest. A maniac, a thing no longer human. They say he lives on whatever he can catch. Eats them raw, alive maybe. And every year he picks on a summer camp and seeks his revenge for the terrible things those kids did to him. Every year he kills. Right now he's out there. Watching. Waiting. So...............