Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Halloween 2018 news
Per Bloody-Disgusting:
Halloween news 2018 BD
“It’s not a reboot, it’s not gonna be a rehash. It’s a continuation of Michael Myers – where we’re choosing to continue it from, you’ll have to see when the movie comes out,” McBride explained. “I’d already seen all these movies but I’ve really been studying them now, and just thinking about all the people that have been hired to make a Michael Myers movie. Just trying to avoid any mistakes that those people might’ve made. The first Halloween is scary as shit. And the second Halloween is scary, but not as scary. And then from there, it isn’t as scary. And I really think that what happens with it is that he basically becomes Frankenstein. No matter what anyone hits him with, he’s not gonna die. There’s no suspense.
McBride added, “We’re just trying to play with that. Make him real. Not make him real by giving him some crazy backstory either. Just getting back to the basics. Even the moment that they made Laurie and Michael Myers siblings – it also makes it not quite as scary. So all that kind of stuff to us… those are the things that took an amazing idea and took it somewhere it wasn’t quite as effective.”
Sounds good to me...
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 4:43 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Creature (1985)
Creature –
“I see you like guns…what else do you like?”
I found Creature in a bin full of VHS movies at the local
flea market. I paid 5 dollars for front
row tickets to a Klaus Kinski freak out fest in space. I regret nothing.
Creature is a shameless rip off of Alien, but that doesn’t
hamper Klaus Kinski’s crazy fervor on screen, which was the best thing about
this movie, other than the space zombies, exploding heads, and a brief boob
shot. In the near future all galactic resources are fought over by two
major companies, one from the east, one from the west; carrying cold war rivalry from Earth into space beyond. Never mind this nonsense; none of it makes a difference
when a group of German researchers discover an ancient alien menagerie on Titan
and one of the creatures wakes up and
begins implanting people with mind controlling parasites, creating space
zombies to do its bidding. A rescue team
is sent when they receive a distress signal from the Titan outpost, discovering
the only survivor of the attack is crazy Klaus Kinski who rambles on about the
creature’s “collective conscious”. The
rescue team tangos with the grisly undead zombies being spawned by the
creature, and when all seems lost a well-placed drop kick saves the day. Decent blood and practical zombie gore
effects, torn throats, gore; worth spending a lazy Sunday afternoon with if you’re
into shameless Alien rip-offs from the 80’s.
I am.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 7:07 AM 0 comments
Monday, May 15, 2017
Star Crystal - 1986
Star Crystal
–
When I was a
kid I rented this movie based on the box art alone and watched it in the dusky morning
hours before school started; when the rest of the family laid asleep I subjected
my fragile young mind to horrors from beyond, unimaginable snot covered
nightmare beings that sucked the blood right out of you with thorny tentacles
dripping with slime leaving you a spongy, mummified, ooze covered corpse. Star Crystal terrified my school boy psyche with
images of a glowing snot monster squeezing limbs with tentacles until they
burst with blood. A scavenger mission
to Mars yields a strange discovery, a large 300,000 year old crystal formation
that behaves more like a computer than a rock.
Shortly after recovering the object the scavenger crew’s shuttle suffers
an oxygen malfunction and all aboard are killed through asphyxiation, leaving
only frozen corpses drifting through space.
2 months later the rudderless shuttle craft is intercepted by a floating
space station but soon after docking with it, the station suffers a critical “blackout
7” malfunction, and explodes killing thousands.
Only a handful of technicians survive by escaping on the same craft that
holds the mysterious Star Crystal.
Within the first ten minutes of the movie the body count already racks
up considerably, then the creature gore begins.
The crew discovers there is another life form on board, one that corners
its victims smothering them with horn covered tentacles, sucking their life juices
from them until they prune up into a desiccated corpse. The creature kills several members of the
crew in short order, prompting some pretty funny freak out moments from the
survivors “Damn it, DAMN IT!” They also
realize the creature is intelligent as it uses its crystal to hack into the
computers systems. In a goofy unforeseeable
twist they learn that the creature’s viscous attacks were all part of some sort
of misunderstanding, stupid humans. What
follows is an 80’s montage of the snot creature (which calls himself Gar)
working with the surviving 2 crew members on the ship, playing games, goofing
around, calling people jerks. Gar the
snot creature from space that feasts on human blood ends up being a real sweetie
and the movie ends with hugs and high fives.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 6:40 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
New Halloween posters
Check out these sweet new Halloween posters done by the original artist of the Nightmare on Elm Street movie poster.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 11:02 AM 0 comments
The Terror Within/Dead Space double header
Deep space; the promise of endless exploration and discovery,
and unimaginable horror; these movies were meant to push the boundaries of
imagination and fear, they often push the boundaries of good taste and patience
instead, but the faithful shall be rewarded.
True believers in the cult of the VHS and champions of sci-fi trash will
find these movies delightfully obtuse B-rated bundles of joy dripping with
slime and gore; staples in the gorehound elite’s diet. Fans of face ripping, throat slashing, acid
spewing, gut tearing, monster melting, head stomping, bone crunching alien
horror should look no further than these forgotten sci-fi gems of yesteryear.
The Terror Within –
“You’re an ugly son of
a bitch!”
George Mother Fucking Kennedy leads a group of survivors in
a search for a cure to a plague that has ravaged the planet, leaving legions of
flesh hungry mutant gargoyles in its wake. The movie begins promising enough, two men
wander the desert, one man with a beautiful mullet, great plumage, and already I
like the on screen mullet to man ratio.
The group is low on supplies, they eat rattlesnake (tastes just like
chicken) and drink moon shine but soon the party is crashed by horny gargoyles
on a mission to rape. The mutants
surround the Mojave Desert underground lab complex George and crew are holed up
in; let the rape party begin. Soon one
of the female survivors is pregnant with mutant spawn; George attempts a
C-section surgery to study the freak but the little fucker tears out of her
chest instead, blood and visceral splatter everywhere, the operating theater is
soaked in gore, and the hunt for the creature begins. Pretty much the pinnacle of this trash fest,
because the rest of the movie is spent awkwardly bumping around air vents in
the dark. There’s a dog named Butch, and
Butch was the only survivor I cared about making it out alive. It’s discovered that the creatures have super
sensitive hearing, which is kind of a surprise because they don’t look like
they even have ears, but whatever, they must not like metal, fuck them. In the end duct tape saves the day. Duct tape.
Dead Space –
Technically a remake of Mutant, just you know without any of
the over the top cheese and sleaze that makes Mutant so damn endearing. Maybe they should have called it Dead Air instead. The most interesting part of this movie is
that it stars Bryan Cranston in a role that heavily foreshadows his later work
on Breaking Bad; he plays a scientist searching for a cure to a lethal disease
that plagues him.
Knowing his time is
short he takes radical risks and disregards all safety protocols to create his
cure for the deadly Delta V disease, and to the surprise of absolutely no one
something goes horribly wrong. The lab
calls upon Captain Kregger Intergalactic Troubleshooter for help (the dude that
plays Beastmaster), who seems to spend a lot of time chilling in his space
sauna. However when Kregger reaches
planet side Cranson doesn’t want him to kill the mutant because “it’s not a
monster” or something, but ultimately loses the argument when it starts
impregnating people with giant slugs that crawl in through the nose and burst out
from the chest. It can also kill with a
scratch infecting victims with “every disease known to man”. So it spreads herpes? Gross.
In the end it mutates in a cross between a dragon and a xenomorph,
Kregger kills it, and then happily returns to his steam bath in space to relax.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 9:06 AM 0 comments
Thursday, May 4, 2017
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