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Monday, September 19, 2011

Regan finds a new home in the Crypt

As you can probably surmise, this crappy Crypt-keeper is absolutely coo-coo clock for Halloween decor, and after a quick trip to the local curios shop I returned with Captain Spaulding from THE EXORCIST; completely pea soup splattered in all her spinning head glory.






Demon possession is so grand, I can't wait until it becomes the cool thing to do. 

Finally got down with some Halloween 2, BOO-ray action.  Love the candy coated hi definition color, but am not so happy about the credits switcheroo at the beginning.  The crypt space will be filled with Halloween 2 black mass worship all week, so keep peaking here for some gushy Halloween movie love....  

Monday, September 12, 2011

Count Dracula and his Vampire Bride

Over the weekend I felt the itch; the itch for voluptuous lesbo vampire broads, old dilapidated mansions that go creek in the night, Dracula spouting the dark poetry of the damned, and hellish experimentation performed by some mad German doctor....in other words I felt the itch that could only be scratched by HAMMER.  So I laid back in my easy chair and dosed my brain with some dusty classic vampire yarns, such as Count Dracula and his Vampire Bride.


Dracula is sick of the game.  Yes sick.  And the damned creature wants out of it.  He's sick of monster hunters separating his coffin lid in the throes of a good midday nap, he's tired of feeding the vampire chicks chained to his coffin, he's sick of humanity mucking it up for him.  It's time for the dark days; the all or nothing days.  It's time for the apocalypse, the big end game, and with the help of some hypnotized higher up British officials and a brand new strand of the bubonic plague, aka the Black Death, he seems closer to ever to bringing the world to the end, if it weren't for that meddling Van Helsing standing in his way...

Peter Cushing and Christoher Lee mix it up in this classic HAMMER sinema great, and with this being Christopher Lee's last Dracula flick, it makes me wonder if the whole deal about Dracula being tired of living had some other implications, like Mr. Lee was tired of playing the living dead, even though it's a FACT that nobody on Earth can bulge their bloodshot eyes out of their skull in hyno-Dracula trance like he can.   There's some political intrigue, actually it wasn't as intriguing as a chore to sit through until the movie got to the classic HAMMER stuff, but I'd recommend it if you're looking for a good vamp flick that doesn't make vampires look like cry baby emo goth kids. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Bereavement

I just saw the follow up to Malevolence a few days ago. I think I'll have to watch it a few more times before doing a full blown review, but right now I'm thinking Bereavement > Malevolence. It's a sprinkle of TCM, a dabble of Psycho, with a dash of stalk and slash. Nothing anybody here has never seen before, but I thought it came together nicely with some dark twists at the end and a journey into the psychosis of a madman that will unnerve the tame. The most compelling part of the story for me was the utter tragedy of all the people involved, everyone is fucked from the first frame. It’s more than another dead teen flick; it deals more with the nature of tragedy, how in an instance someone can come along and take away everything you know and care about, and the impression violence and evil has on the development of a child’s psychological makeup.  Malevolence showed us the boogeyman Martin Bristol would later become; Bereavement sets the table in a way that doesn’t insult the viewer’s logic.

A child (Martin Bristol) afflicted with a rare disease, one that prevents the young boy from feeling pain, is kidnapped from his backyard swing in a scenario that would give any warm blooded parent a serious case of the heebie jeebies.  Later the same child is subjected to psychological and physical torture that would break the resolve of full grown men.  The movie seems to suggest that Martin’s nerve affliction helped him survive the trials of the madman he’s held captive by, but the psychological damage done to him is irreversible.  Nurture and nature have equal play in his development, but due to the perfect storm of tragic circumstance he becomes a living ghost, unfettered by the morals of modern society; Martin is a silent stalking killer, a moon faced boogeyman, and his “father”, his cruel captor, seems proud of his son before Martin swiftly buries an ax into his chest. And why not…he has become a twisted reflection of his own lunatic teachings…keeping a legacy of evil alive that had begun with his father..

Some might call this a torture porn, but that’s really not the case.  There was one scene that displays torture that goes far beyond psychological; but I believe the movie was just playing to the conventions of the genre.  You have to add a little visceral punch to your product when you wear influences like TCM, Psycho, and Halloween on your sleeve; the rest of the “torture” is purely mental, like in a Buffalo Bob from Silence of the Lambs kind of way.     

 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Midnight Movie - book review from the abyss



Midnight Movie is a story narrated through interviews, internet blogs, news stories, a splashy diarrhea laden media dump in a documentary style format, no doubt retreading the same tone as Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s pseudo-documentary style; siphoned through a tangled narrative about a mysterious zombie outbreak which supposedly had been caused by the screening of a "lost" Tobe Hooper classic Destiny Express.  Hooper plays a major role in the action along with several other fictional or mostly fictional characters (I’m unsure if some of the people he refers to in the novel were cooked up by Tobe and co-writer, as the novel is semi-autobiographical of Tobe’s own life). The zombies, instead of being the brain hungry, mindless, shambling creatures popularized by Romero’s ilk are sex crazed fiends; Hooper (and co-writer) were going for a different kind of id, one that spews blue cum and generally acts like a hyper sex crazed teen that will literally fuck itself to death.  If this had been a movie it’d resemble a Southern fried, low budget take on The Crazies mixed with a dash of Necromantic while borrowing elements from The Ring told through media breaks and talking heads, all underlined in Hooper’s dry devil-may-care sense of humor.

What I enjoyed most about the story had nothing to do with the story at all, it was reading into some of Tobe's own inner monologue, dialogue which sometimes caters to nerdgasming slashheads like yours truly, that got my goat and I suspect is the main pull for many people purchasing the book.  The characters in the novel are just as eccentric as some of the characters in his quirkier movies (think Eaten Alive) and there’s certainly an effort made to entertain above all else even if the horror is reduced to the slapstick over the top antics of some splatter flicks; tongue planted firmly through the cheek.  The mystery surrounding the outbreak kept me going as the clues were evenly spread throughout the book, revelations came to the reader at a satisfying pace, although I pretty much guessed the true catalyst for the outbreak from the onset.

Where the novel falters is in its inability to remain focused and tonally consistent. One of the main themes in the book is about how society easily sheds its cultural center when faced with a crisis; going through denial of said crisis then spinning the narrative of events to cartoonish extremes to sate the sensibilities of the public.  Catch phrases are attached to terrifying events to rob the tragedy of its horrible power to spread fear, to reshape perceptions, to loosen the control of society.  When the zombie outbreak happens the government steps in to erase the digital footprint of related events and information from the internet and by blaming the incidents on meth heads.  The result is a society that seemingly continues to plod on with horse blinders on, dealing with the menace by internalizing the events in rose colored glasses, or by plain denial.  People continue with their 9 to 5 as best as they can while dealing with these crazy people spewing blue slime out of their pee holes.  There is only a general sense that something is amidst, something is wrong with the country, but like Tobe Hooper says, when isn’t there something wrong?  He’s not even aware of the outbreak until it literally knocks on his front door. 

However later in the novel people begin reacting to the threat of the rising zombie menace by locking themselves into their own homes or leaving town all together as violence escalates in the cities.  The streets are described as dust strewn and clogged with rolling tumbleweeds, deserted and ghostly with the foreboding sense that the infected could be anywhere.  When the threat is dealt with and reversed society reconvenes back to a seemingly normal state of affairs as if the screw happy zombies were but a bump in the natural progression of civilization, a temporary throwback hardly marked in the history books to be trivialized by later generations.  If the threat caused society to lose its cultural center how did it find it again?  It’s unclear and inconsistently presented in the book; it’s hard to imagine a culture that would ignore the zombies on such a large scale, a government capable of hiding the threat as easily as it had in the book in the age of the superhighway of information, and people’s uneven reaction to it.  It’d be hard enough to censor social networks, none the less silence the entire interwebs.  The book doesn’t focus long on the aftermath; it seems satisfied in its conclusion of the story as an entertainment piece but does nothing to address the themes presented and subsequently abandoned through the novel, none of the narrative threads seemed to knot together evenly at the end with the exception of recounting the fate of all the major players.  If it had something definitive to say the crux was lost in Hooper’s staunch musings about Hollywood and the gross-out antics of the zombies.  The novel slides between observations about the meta-culture and oozing orifices; a jubilee of nihilism and amorality run amok while examining the ugly social trends of a media saturated world.        

The third act of the novel shifts focus from the sprawling zombie apocalypse to Hooper’s mission to recreate the amateur shoestring budget movie that is suspected to have kick started the whole humping deadhead epidemic.  Exhausted, flying on fumes and guided by intuition, Hooper decides to remake the film Destiny Express gambling that whatever black cinema magic might had spawned from original could by undone by filming another. Again it’s difficult to see the underlining message when the passages are riddled with road kill and the narrative thread is broken by idiotic tweets and blog passages by chicks with the blue goo with unstable libidos.  Perhaps there’s something to be said about movie remakes robbing or dampening the magic of the original, but that seems kind of pedestrian.    

All in all I couldn't recommend this to anyone that isn't a gushing Tobe Hooper fan.  The day I read this book I was bed ridden, suffering from a summer plague during a stiffening heat wave, with Lifeforce, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and Eaten Alive playing on the cathode ray throughout the morning and afternoon hours. The only breaks I had were to spill some fluids in the bathroom, either from pissing or puking.  Bow to the porcelain goddess.  Zombie films seem so much more pertinent when your sick and suffering, but the Tobe Hooper love-fest did little to help elevate the material in the novel and my enjoyment of it.  Buy at your own risk.  This is a library loaner for sure.

Monday, September 5, 2011

R.I.P RALPH the fish

Friday, September 2, 2011

HALLOWEEN 2 on BOO RAY!

We're buzzing (with plague carrying fleas) about the new Halloween 2 blu-ray coming out September 13th here in the crypt.  The old VHS tape is looking rather dog eared from viewing the movie ritualistically through the 3 decades since it's been unleashed on the human herd, as the film is a template for sugary slasher movie fun and one of Cropsy Cryptkeeper's personal cream of the crap picks.



I'm expecting Bereavement to hit the post box sometime soon, so expect a review to the follow up to Malevolence shortly.  I'm hoping it will be just as slashtastic, if not better and darker than the first.  Working diligently on soaking up as much slime as possible in the pages of the new fanzine.  Thank you everyone who contributed to its evil resolve.  Until next time, keep on ROTTING!  

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The season of rot....

...will soon begin my ghoulish friends of fringe cinematic desire.  CROPSY's CRYPTKEEPER is poking his head out to catch a whiff of the cool fall air....sorry for the wait for the update, but the meat grinders in the crypt kitchen have been desecrating many a cadaver, and the Devil's in my hands.  Idle we have not been, working on the fanzine into the witching hour...for fans of SLASHER movies, horror comics, and creature features, but mostly SLASHERS!


.....in October the fanzine will be spread, like a disease.  Seems more appropriate anyways.  BEWARE.  BRING A BARF BAG  THE REVENGE IS ALMOST UPON US! SO.....