CROPSY'S CRYPT: August 2013

Friday, August 30, 2013

Halloween shirts from Fright Rags preorder 9/10/13

After years in the making, I am very proud to announce that we have teamed up with Trancas International Films to produce some exclusive items for both John Carpenter’s Halloween and Halloween 4 : The Return of Michael Myers. Click the image below (or right here) to find out what is coming your way on Tuesday, September 10. Please note that all items featured will be available on a pre-order basis, and will begin shipping in late October. Not to get all mushy, but this project is especially near and dear to me. Halloween is the reason I am into horror today, and when I began this lil’ company it was the one film I had longed to sink my teeth into. Perhaps it’s fitting that, this being exactly 10 years after I started Fright-Rags, we’ve been fortunate enough to take a stab (pun intended) at it. It has truly been a dream come true and I hope this isn’t the last time we work with this iconic franchise. While every project is special, this one is very much a personal one—straight from the heart—and I want to thank everyone involved in making it happen: Justin Beahm, Malek Akkad, Ryan Freiman, Gary Pullin, Kyle Crawford, Justin Osbourn, Christopher Lovell, and everyone who has believed in us over the past 10 years. - Ben

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Night Train to Terror review

In honor of the news of the Vinegar Syndrome Night Train to Terror blu ray release! From the crusty crypt archive, an old review.....

NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR

Night Train to Terror is loaded to the gills with exploitation, lobotomy, demonic Nazis, death traps, mayhem, monsters, murder; it’s even got musical breaks with an 80’s pop band in pastel sweat pants singing about how everyone has something to do but you (no shit, that’s why I’m watching this movie!). God and Satan discuss the cosmic underpinnings of the universe in a train cart as people’s faces melt from electrical shock.

It’s like the gods of Velveeta took an atomic dump on a train and sent it trucking to a distant galaxy of other worldly B-grade goodness. The train came back and this is what we got. I’m in B-movie trash heaven.

Night Train to Terror holds a special place in my decrepit, gore-gasming heart next to such cinematic calamities as Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre. Both movies seem too utterly ridiculous to exist in this dimension of reality. Watching them is almost like peeking into an exotic alien mind; not everything makes sense but I find the oddity strangely intoxicating.

The plot is essentially there is a train, going somewhere, Satan says it will crash, God doesn’t want it to, they watch cliff notes to other films (the only one I recognized was Evil Never Dies). Bull from Night Court seems to be the only connection from one story to the other, filling in different roles for each story. In another car on the train there is a band playing the same song over and over. This is the place we go for a musical break after God and Satan decide the fates of everyone in the stories we watch. The stories are pretty neat, sufficiently dosed with guts and gruel, but seem to jump around a lot and don’t always make sense, much like the trans-dimensional alien brain. I thought the story about the death club was the best, but even that was more confusing than Chinese checkers. At the end the train lifts off the tracks, the cheesy band continues to play the one song they know, and the train travels off into the distant cosmos.

I can only wish that it returns to this world once again.

Welcome to the FUNHOUSE BITCHES!

Ya!

The Trick R Treat Studios Funhouse mask arrives and it is super fantastic. I'm a freak for FUNHOUSE!

Killer Party review

KILLER PARTY

It’s totally 80’s and totally rad; Killer Party is a totally tubular slasher movie with a carefree attitude. Totally. So crack open that Tab cola, dump out all the cheese curls in one of those big silver party bowls, and dust off your most bodacious sweater; it’s time to set the town on fire with Killer Party; the ultimate slasher party movie. Let's deep dive into the deep end of the 80's...

The beginning of the movie is quite a jam man. There are zombies, a graveyard ritual, a drive-in theater, cock rock, glam, and movie within movie within a movie antics that are never really explained and have zero to do with the real deal movie. So right away you know the emphasis in this flick is more on delivering a happy fun time than pondering the mysteries of life and cinema, and that’s just cream cheese to me baby. We are introduced to three inseparable friends fresh from high school and excited to just be starting college (although, they’re like all in their thirties). They even have their own theme song that they bounce in step to. It goes something like this:

These are the best times of our life

Of our life

These are the best times of our life

Of our life

These are the best times of our life

Of our life

I’m totally going to vomit. So yeah you can tell they are pretty giddy about college life, although they really shouldn’t be with a killer apparition on the loose named Alan (terrifying), stabbing people with a steel trident and generally being a big party pooper. Later he ups his game and dresses as a deep sea diver while sending costumed party goers into the void. You see poor Alan was a fraternity pledge that dabbled in black magic, because who doesn’t now a days, and was tragically killed in a prank with a guillotine (don’t those always go wrong?). Now his malevolent spirit roams an abandoned fraternity house seeking revenge on the living.

There are plenty of stalk and slash elements to the movie but they seem to take a back seat to the storyline about the trio of girls trying to get accepted into the all female “goat” sorority, which is kind of weird because aren’t goats male? With the exception of a few quick cut away deaths the movie doesn’t go into full blown horror mode until much later in its third act, where Alan swiftly and silently massacres an entire April Fool’s Day party. It kind of seems like the main girls step out of the room for a coke break and return to find all their friends hacked up to bloody ribbons and strung up with the party décor. Pacing anyone? Alan’s evil spirit gets all balls deep in one of the girls, possessing her and breaking up their lesbian love triangle, setting up the final showdown between final girl Vivian and the ghost of fraternities past.

Killer Party has a lot of spunk and spirit; its carefree attitude carries over nicely from the screen and the warm cast and crew never seem to overstay their welcome. The stalk and slash aspects of the movie may be a little fluffy but fit well with the general atmosphere of the film. This forgotten cheese kernel has a cult following and for good reason; it’s simply a fun film that raises no expectations from the viewer other than to remain content and entertained. I can dig it man.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

You're Next - Out now!

I just saw You're Next, and it should make slash heads pretty happy this summer. Check it out while it's still in theaters and avoid all that other dreck out there!