Also don't forget that Terror Train takes place on New Years as well. You can do a New Years stalk and slash double header at home if you're anything like me; anti-social and friendless like any true blue ghoul. Get totally loaded and watch decapitations as the ball drops at midnight. Add some pizza and you got a pretty slamming one man/woman party.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
New Year's EVIL!
Also don't forget that Terror Train takes place on New Years as well. You can do a New Years stalk and slash double header at home if you're anything like me; anti-social and friendless like any true blue ghoul. Get totally loaded and watch decapitations as the ball drops at midnight. Add some pizza and you got a pretty slamming one man/woman party.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 9:26 AM 0 comments
Friday, December 27, 2013
Christmas at Crystal Lake
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 7:24 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Merry X-MASS!
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 11:51 PM 0 comments
Friday, December 13, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Blood Beat review
Blood Beat is a samurai ghost summoned via an accidental blood ritual; someone finds a samurai sword in their closet and accidentally cuts her finger on the blade and lo and behold a samurai ghost appears from the nether realms. It’s clear the ghost is a malevolent poltergeist of some sort because it stabs people throughout the movie like any true samurai ghost should, but it’s not really clear what the ghost wants. The psychic mother says it wants her children but it can’t have them. She says this over and over in the movie but it still doesn’t really explain squat. It spends a lot of time harassing one family but it’s clear it’s not confined to a house like a normal haunting; it can go through the woods and even travels to kill the neighbors next door for no apparent reason.
Let me paint this scene: a couple and their dog sit on a huge water bed. The man screams at his wife about “getting his orange juice”. I had to laugh because, why orange juice? In a normal movie he would have asked her to get him a beer, but Blood Beat just can’t give you anything straight, so we get a water bed and orange juice. The woman, wife, whatever goes to fetch his beloved orange juice from the kitchen and is cut to pieces by a ghostly samurai. Bet she did not see that coming. The samurai kills the man too after some bumping around. This strange MO is confusing to me, even for a ghost. I mean, it makes sense in a horror movie kind of logic to pad the run time with some killing, but why the neighbors?
I have to back up a bit, this all may seem a bit confusing but all the exposition in the world won’t clear the fog. The movie begins in the woods, following a hunter tracking a deer. He brings it back to his girlfriend, who gets headaches and bad premonitions and doesn’t want to marry him. I only bring this up because they seem to make a big deal out of the fact the couple won’t get married because the psychic woman had a bad prior marriage, but I honestly can’t recall this ever being brought up again in the film. Like so many other things it seems important at the moment but is lost by the time the next scene rolls around. It’s around Christmas (another fact that doesn’t amount to much, it kind of is just there) and her kids are coming home for the holidays. Because the mother is so psychic and stuff she gets a bad vibe from her son’s new girlfriend Sarah, and it’s pretty dead on because she is the one to accidentally summon the samurai ghost warrior. She also uses her psychic abilities to peep in on her son while he is having sex with Sarah, which was actually pretty creepy.
The mother in this movie seems to be the only one who knows what is going on, having knowledge of the world beyond our own, however she really doesn’t say much of actual use. At one point the rest of the cast is shaking her, yelling at her, pleading with her to tell them what is happening, and she says something to the effect of “it’s him, he wants the children but can’t have them” and they all shake their heads like they understand but I was absolutely lost. The movie spends a lot of time with the psychic mom (Jenny) and she is kind of a lump on a log. She paints big ugly brown abstract pictures and kind of just mosses around the house in her shawl all day making cryptic statements about life.
Deer hunting seems to have a major part in this movie, but like everything else it doesn’t seem to gel with the samurai ghost plot or really anything else going on. A man says “check out my nice guns” and he really doesn’t mean his arms, he means his rifles. There’s a deer gutting scene and many references to the joy of hunting, but it doesn’t seem to make any thematic sense of tie-in with other elements of what was happening. Maybe they were comparing the deer to the people, and the ghost samurai was hunting people for trophy, but that really wasn’t spelled out. He never takes trophies from the dead victims. It is much like the fact that this takes place during the Christmas holiday season; it’s just kind of there.
The movie wraps up with a big psychic showdown of flashing lights and neon effects that would probably impress someone from some indigenous tribe in the jungle that has never seen a movie. It doesn’t do much for anyone else. At one point the psychic mom holds her hands out to her sides, they glow white, the room flashes blue and black for a solid minute of running time to really drive home the effect, but it’s unclear what she’s actually doing. Is she fighting the samurai ghost on some psychic plane of existence? Is she weaving a spell? Is she constipated? It’s really not clear, and I’m not sure I want to answer these questions. That’s the beauty of Blood Beat; you don’t quite understand what is going on but it’s so cheesy and funny and unique you just can’t stop watching. Honestly, it may have something to do with the samurai ghost induced orgasms.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 8:52 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Savage Water
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 3:20 PM 0 comments
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Nightmare on Elm Street toaster
House of Mysterious Secrets - NOES toaster for sale
Too stinking cool. I want some Freddy French toast for breakfast stat!
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 12:58 PM 0 comments
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Musing over Halloween 3...again...
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 3:11 PM 0 comments
Monster Bacon Meatloaf....
I'm a shameless meat loaf connoisseur and promoter of sorts and find it to be the culinary choice when watching stalk and slash movies of refined caliber; hence the addition of meatloaf recipes in each formal release of Cropsy's Crypt fine art and dining magazine. This loaf of meat below looks like quite a delectable specimen.
ART
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 2:55 PM 0 comments
New slasher video game for PS3 - UNTIL DAWN!
http://gamingillustrated.com/until-dawn-the-next-horror-game-for-ps3/
"Until Dawn" slasher video game for PS3!
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 10:41 AM 0 comments
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Halloween OST vinyl release from MONDO!
Halloween OST on vinyl!
I used to have this on CD until my little house burned down. Someone needs to get me this new release....
Rad.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 12:25 PM 0 comments
Thursday, October 17, 2013
POOP
Your ole pal Cropsy.
Also click on the banner on the side titled "BLOODY PULP" to check out my stoopid sketches, and some other spooky stuff.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 2:34 PM 0 comments
Friday, October 4, 2013
Happy Friday fall loving freaks!
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 3:09 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Pieces shirt...now on sale!
Hopefully this week I get my copy of Halloween 35th edition blu ray. I'm sure it'll be a killer transfer judging from the beautiful screen shots I've been seeing cropping up over the interwebs.
Just a friendly reminder that the Fright-Rags PIECES shirt I mentioned a little while ago is now on sale. Catch it for the anniversary of the movie. I might give it a spin tonight.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 10:13 AM 0 comments
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Coming Monday...PIECES shirt from Fright-Rags!
New PIECES shirt available for pre-order 9/23/13 from Fright-Rags!
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 9:13 AM 0 comments
Thursday, September 12, 2013
HalloweeN from FRIGHT-RAG!
The collector box looks dreamy. I got the glow-in-zee-dark poster as well. Nerdgasm.
http://www.fright-rags.com/halloween-limited-edition-box-set-p-924.html
The Night HE Came Home.
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 6:12 PM 0 comments
Don't Go to the Reunion - review
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 4:05 PM 0 comments
Monday, September 9, 2013
Blood Runs Cold - review
Posted by CROPSY'S CRYPTKEEPER at 3:12 PM 0 comments